How to Be a More Mindful Listener
One of the core values I observe when teaching mindfulness is listening. Contrary to what you might believe, being a good listener does not happen on accident. It requires intention and practice, much like any skill or craft that you work to improve in your daily life. In fact, it quickly becomes obvious when you talk with someone who has not taken the time to improve his or her listening habits. It is easy to become distracted in conversation, turn the focus on yourself, or completely miss the purpose behind what the other person has to say.
None of us want to be known as bad listeners, especially to the people who matter most in our lives. So what can we do to practice mindful listening? Here are a few strategies outlined in this article from mindful.
1) Don’t try to multitask while listening. This includes not just stopping other actions to focus on the conversation at hand, it also involves turning your full attention to the other person. When your mind is elsewhere you cannot truly listen to what another person is saying, and your brain simply cannot handle multiple streams of information at once. Stop your other tasks and use intention to focus on listening.
2) Take a breath, then listen. The simple act of breathing in with focus will tell your body and mind to stop and pivot towards listening over everything else. Relax and enjoy the conversation.
3) Ask good questions. Yes, I encourage you to ask questions from the speaker, but also ask yourself during your listening practice if you truly understand what is being said. If you do not, stop and ask for clarity, then listen carefully to the answer.
4) Think about what was just said. If you rush away from a conversation without properly absorbing it, you may quickly forget what was said in the first place. After you practice intentional listening, take a few minutes to remind yourself what transpired so it can soak into your brain and stay there.
Listening is an art, and it is certainly one worth improving. The benefit to you and your relationships can be immense if you set the intention to be a more mindful listener. It is truly the building block for many other mindful practices!
Mindfully Yours,
Dr. Pamm
