How to Be Kind to Yourself

If the past 18-months (since March 2020) have reminded us of anything, it’s that being a human being is just downright difficult. We knew this and acknowledged it before a global pandemic upended our lives, but spending so much time alone allowed us all to further indulge in the negative self-talk that was already such a big player in our headspace. So much of what we say to ourselves would never be acceptable to tell someone else, yet we often find it impossible to break the cycle.

As we acknowledge how difficult it is to exist in this world, we must also realize the need to speak kindly to ourselves, to be gentle with our hearts and minds, and turn instead towards inner words of encouragement. Inspired by a newsletter from mindful.org, today I am sharing practical ways to win the constant battle against negativity you are probably waging in your own head.

1)     Practice thankfulness.
In order to interrupt our negative thoughts, we must fill our minds with positive ones. Make a list – either in your head, on a piece of paper, or even in your phone – of just a few things you are grateful for today. Not only will this halt the flow of negativity, it will also turn your mind to all the good things in your life, which are always worth celebrating.

2)     Practice self-awareness.
You will not be able to combat the lies you tell yourself until you confront what they really are, and speak truth into the falsehoods. As negative thoughts flow through you, acknowledge them and look for patterns. Do they come at certain times during the day, week, or month? Were they triggered by a particular person or event? Answering a few simple questions about your inner critic will help you fight lies with truth, and avoid falling prey to them in the future.

3)     Practice self-acceptance.
At the end of the day, you need to be your own greatest encourager, because only you know the thoughts coming into your head on a daily basis. For each negative thought that pops up, speak one positive thought in its place. Speak to yourself how you would want your loved ones to speak to themselves, and remember that kindness goes a long way in any relationship – especially the one you have within your own heart and mind.

While these steps seem simple, they are not easy to implement when we are so accustomed to negative self-talk. Begin with small adjustments each day, and over time you will learn to treat yourself kindly as you navigate the difficult task of being a human in 2021 and beyond.

Mindfully yours,
DrPamm