How to Become a Better Listener

When you think about mindfulness, what do you envision? For most people, it may conjure up images of one person sitting in a room alone, in tune with his or her inner thoughts. While this is certainly one way to engage in mindful practices, another important concept is how to be mindful around others when the attention is on them – and, in turn, how this will make you a better listener.

 I can be guilty sometimes of nodding along in a conversation for a time when I realize that I have not actually heard what the other party is saying, lost instead in my own thoughts about the day. I am quite sure I am not alone in this regard! We are surrounded by distractions, from our phones to noises that happen in day-to-day life, and it is hard to focus solely on what another person is saying.

Enter mindful listening. Do not be intimidated by the thought of practicing mindfulness in front of someone else, with inevitable distractions that might sidetrack your thoughts. Instead, work to redirect your attention back to the conversation at hand despite everything surrounding you that threatens to take your mind away from listening to who or what is right in front of you.

This article from Mindful Magazine is an excellent resource for a step-by-step way to become a better listener. While I encourage you to read each detail on mindful.org, here is a quick overview of how you can practice mindful listening:

1.      Engage in a meaningful conversation with someone else by setting a 2-minute timer and committing to not speaking during this time, but listening instead.

2.      After 2 minutes, take a few quick notes about what was said, then ‘switch places’ with the other person.

3.      When both of you have finished speaking, reflect on how the conversation made you feel. Do this at least once per week.

With regular practice and intention, all of us can become better and more mindful listeners. This can strengthen our relationships with others as well as ourselves as we quiet distractions – including our own minds – and learn to listen well.

Mindfully yours,

DrPamm