Let It Go

Is there something that you need to let go? There is for most of us. It might be a belief about ourselves that makes us feel unworthy of receiving life’s bounty. It could be a desire for success in some endeavor that isn’t likely to be realized, in spite of our best efforts. Perhaps we hold onto a feeling or a behavior that drags us down or holds us back. It might even be an attempt to control someone else’s behavior or feelings.Using a poker metaphor in his article “Let It Go,” Dr. Rich Hanson asks “when is it time to fold ‘em?” He shows us how to discover what we need to let go and gives us methods to unclench our hands, heart and mind to be free of the burden we have carried too far and too long.Dr. Hanson notes two categories of problematic attachments:

• Things that we know about with only a little reflection, such as self-critical thoughts, obsessions or compulsions, defensiveness about our issues, or drinking too much. These things are relatively straightforward to deal with, even though it could be difficult.
• The hard things are the ones that make sense, that have good things about them, that would be good for us and others if they could work out – like longing for love from someone, or wishing more people would come to our store, or hoping that we’re free of cancer – but are either not worth the price or it’s sadly clear that we just can’t make them happen.[1]

How do we begin to let go? I urge you to read Dr. Hanson’s good article in it’s entirety, but here’s an overview of the process:

1. Take a clear look at yourself. Are you stressing yourself for little gain, plus wasting time, attention, and other resources that could be better invested elsewhere?
2. Step back from your situation and get some perspective. Pretend you’re sitting comfortably on a sunny mountain looking down on a valley that contains this thing you’ve been holding onto. Exhale and relax and listen to your heart: What’s it telling you about this attachment? Are the conditions right for it come true? Is it worth its costs? Is it out of your hands, so that your own striving just can’t make it so? You get to decide whether it’s best to keep trying, or time to let it go.
3. Try making it concrete. For example, put a small stone or other object in your hand and imagine that it is the thing you’ve been attached to. Hold onto it hard; let your desires and thoughts about it flow; feel the costs related to it; and when you’re ready, open your hand and drop it. Be open to any sense of relief, freedom, ease, or insight.[2]

Try it, it works! You may still have the desire that something works out, but you won’t be stuck in it. You’ll be able to accept the way it is and use your energy for other thoughts and feelings that are more fruitful.Letting go of that burden will give you clarity and energy to let good things come into the space you’ve opened up.Peace, Dr. Pamm [1] Rick Hanson, “Let It Go,” eusophi, December 30, 2014.[2] Ibid.