Working with Your Pain
Working with Your Pain
Long before I learned about mindfulness practice, I was acquainted with people who handled severe pain in very different ways. One friend, walking with difficulty due to congenital problems, always had a smile on her face and appeared to live life cheerfully and enthusiastically, regardless of her level of physical pain. The other friend, also walking with difficulty due to injuries from a car accident, seemed overwhelmed with suffering and unable to face daily activities. I wondered what enabled some people to cope while others could not.Dr. Christiane Wolf’s article “Trapped in the Box We Call Pain,” in the April 2015 issue of Mindful magazine is an excellent guide for using mindfulness practice to handle chronic pain and live well!As Dr. Wolfe explains so well, there are three components of physical pain:
- The physical sensations of pain
- The emotions we have about the pain
- The story we tell ourselves about the pain
She emphasizes that if we leave those three components of pain lumped together “in a box called pain,” then it’s tempting to try to avoid that box at all costs and we stay stuck without learning any ways to manage the pain. [1] Then, it’s all too easy to imagine the worst outcome, based on our past experiences of pain’s effects on us, on our work, and on our relationships. Our perception of the pain becomes worse when we let emotions and worry magnify it.For example, if I don’t use my mindfulness techniques and I feel a sensation of pain, I might react like this:
“Oh, it’s back again. I’m going to have trouble sleeping tonight. If it gets worse, I may have to cancel my appointments tomorrow. I might have to change my vacation plans next week. If it gets as bad as it did last time, I might not be able to do any of the activities I had planned for vacation and I’ll have wasted all of that money. I wonder if I can get my deposit back … I’m so tired and worried and it hurts so much. I can’t sleep. Why is this happening to me?”
Working with Your PainA kinder, more loving response to that sensation of pain is to use mindfulness techniques. As Dr. Wolf explains, we can unpack that box called pain instead of trying to ignore it. It helps when we acknowledge the physical sensations and hold them in the moment.Step 1: Practice Self-CompassionWe can ask ourselves “what would be the kindest response to this level of pain be right in this moment and under these circumstances?
- Acknowledge the pain: “yes, this hurts right now.”
- Emotionally and mentally connect to others who suffer with your kind of pain.
- Be kind to yourself with an affirmation, such as “May I be kind to myself.”
- Distract yourself from the pain with a method that works for you, such as watching a movie or reading a novel. [2]
Step 2: Turn Toward the PainWe can turn toward the pain, taking a quick inventory to see which is the strongest: the sensations, the emotions, or the worry? Work with that one. [3]Sensations“Unexamined pain often feels like it’s unchanging or always present. Prove that wrong by paying attention.” [4]
- If pain is the main focus at this moment, does imagining breathing into it help?
- How big is the pain?
- How big are the areas not in pain?
- Defining the qualities of the sensation and its intensity can help you to bring it back into its proper perspective.
Emotions
- What emotions are related to the pain?
- Investigate that emotion with kindness.
- Remember that it’s just an emotion that everyone has at some point.
- The feeling is not who you are.
Worry
- Recognize that your fear is just a thought.
- Let that story fade to the background, focusing instead on your breath in this moment.[5]
As Dr. Wolf states, “a regular meditation practice … is the best ongoing foundation for working with pain. It helps us to hone the skills we need to attend to pain – or any challenging experience we encounter for that matter.”[6]There’s an old saying that "pain is inevitable and suffering is optional." I’ve found that making the conscious decision to work with the pain rather than running away from the pain helps each one of us cope in a more positive fashion. Suffering is something that we can address during meditation and mindfulness practice.I invite you to begin some type of mindfulness practice to help you befriend your emotions and your pain. On a quarterly basis I offer an 8-week mindfulness psychotherapy group limited to only 8 people. Please consider this as an option for a wonderful learning tool! Look for notices on this website’s calendar for the next 8-week Mindfulness Group.Peace, Dr. Pamm
[1] Christine Wolf, “Trapped in the Box We Call Pain,” Mindful, April 2015, pp. 71 – 76.[2] Ibid.[3] Ibid.[4] Ibid., p. 75[5] Ibid.[6] Ibid.